Personality and Stress Management: Book Preface
Author: Hasan Yahya, professor of Comparative Sociology
This is a preface for my book: Personality and Stress Management, 2008. Published on the election day, where a historical breakthrough brought Barak Obama, as the winner over USA Presidency.
No body is perfect! I believe. But if you do what you love, you have to love what you do. And if you do that, then you are happy. Many people do things as if they are doing it by force. It is not important what type of force they have over them to do. But they have to love what they do. No matter what force they had over you you have already done it. In both cases whither the force came from a friend or not a friend. If people don’t love what they do, they will feel guilty or sorry after doing what they do. If they become guilty of what they do, then it will be easy for stress to occupy their minds and their lives. In this case it is better for you to do what love, and to love what you do. Now, If you were asked this question. What is the most important three thing in life make you happy the most.? WITHOUT looking at the following list of things. What would be your answer? Reading this line will make your eyes jump directly to the list immediately, but wait a minute, give yourself a moment, and close your eyes, think of the question again, then respond to it and select the most important THREE things in your life which make you happy. I trust you, do it right now. OK. I am not kidding. And I am not testing you. Because I know you’re smart. Select after you open your eyes. Write down these selections.
1……….….…. 2………..… 3……………
When you finish, look at the following list and select again from the things in it and select three from it. You have one minute time, or two or may be three minutes PLUS. It’s OK. Now. Set, GO.
Love School Job, Family
Thy Self Nation Auto
Money Success Friendship
Hope Marality Justice
Loyalty Trust Honor
Health Happiness Travel
OK, did you finish? OK. You selected three things from the above LIST What are they ? write them down:
1…………… 2………….. 3. ……………
Finished, OK. Now, is your selection was from the list? You will answer: Yes. Compare your answers between BEFORE looking at the list and AFTER you looked at the list. If your selection was from the list. Surely, you are open wide to have problems of stress, anxiety, depression, anger and fear and may be suicide later in life. I ‘ll call these factors from now on, the GANG FIVE Monsters (GFM), threaten your life, and I can tell you immediately that you are open to frustration and anger any time. I will tell you WHY? Before the question pop up in your mind. You may answer three options from the list, that’s OK, or may not select from the list, it is also OK. If your answer was from the list or outside the list, did not include the most important thing in your life, you missed the point, because the right answer I expected from you to say: LIFE itself. If this was not among the three previous to reading the list or after reading it, .you are in trouble. Psychologically speaking. WHY? LIFE itself is the answer for those who have no windows open wide for stress or any of the GFM in their lives. Simple.
Therefore, you have to protect your life, because if you loose it, you don’t need psychotherapy, you don’t need to cope with the GFM, you don’t need medical doctors to cure your madness or frustration, stress, anxiety, fear, anger or depression. You ‘ve gone forever, you have no life to learn how to cope with these monsters. GOT IT. They say, the one doesn’t have cannot give. And your life gives you all options in the list to be happy. It gives you love, gives you luck, money, honor, success, loyalty, family, and it gives you friendship, satisfaction, and happiness. TO BE ALIVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING which makes anyone happy.
Seriously, if your answer was one of the above selection without including LIFE in your selection before or after reading the list, you are in trouble, and you have something the Greek philosopher Epicurus (341–270 BC) have also missed. He proposed, Pleasure as the supreme good and main goal of life but he also said, that only through self-restraint and moderation. Which gives a person the ability to tolerate frustration and discomfort which is central to stress management and PTSD diseases. See, he revised his suggestion for pleasure, and added the factor of LIFE, because if you passed away , in other words, dead, you have no self-restraint and moderation. You are dead, or don’t give a damn to LIFE, because it is taken for granted, that you are alive, and therefore, you don’t need to say it or mention it as an answer for the answer of the supposed question, made at the beginning of this preface. No body’s perfect.
Any answer of course is expected from you. No one have the power over yourself can limit your imagination or innovation to say what you want or select from inside or outside the list as a response. You had the free will to think and choose. But you did what you did to answer the question posed here, Whatever force I had over you is not important, the most important thing, that you have to think of your life first, then think of stress, anger, anxiety, depression, and fear. Am I right? May be.
People used to conform in their normal life, if they were greeted, they respond. If they were asked, they also respond. If they were called, they also respond. Your response is normal, but what is NOT normal, is to give a response, others expect from you to conform to what they ask for. You have your own personality with different traits from others, you have control of your self and actions. If your personality was of Type A, or Type B. personality, and I knew that about you, I can guess what your answer would be from the above list. I would also guess whither you are open minded or close minded according to some psychologists. I would guess whither you belong to the first in hierarchy or the last in Maslow’s model of human needs. Further, I would guess your age, and may be your sex. Believe me, I can guess too many things about you. And I can tell you what you need to cope and how to manage all or one of the FGMs. You don’t believe me. OK. It’s up to you. As I told you. You are in control of your self, and you think surely, that LIFE itself, Is, and should be the first to think as bringing happiness to your life. Think about it.
This book is very much different from the sixteen books I authored and published, but close to some of my papers presented in professional sociological or psychological or educational conferences. Life satisfaction and happiness in life is an interesting subject. I ask people very simple question, who are you? I made research among Muslims, non Muslims, Arabs, and non-Arabs, American and non Americans, young adults, males females, middle aged, and old and asked this simple question. Guess what the answers would be. Some gives their names, other group gives their religion, other some say their job, a forth group gives their nationality, still other have different answers, they may give to define themselves by their sex, and finally they may give an answer that they are humans, or else. The question is simple enough to think about. It is not about your name, or religion, or sex, or age, or your job or your nationality. WHO ARE YOU? I used different methods to reach out to people and let them choose from a list. 99% of the respondents in my research projects where exactly like you. They answer almost the same concepts you picked, or other concepts from the list. So, knowing this, will give you a quality as normal and unique as a member of the people who picked the same as you did. Life is worth everything good in it. Life is the tree where birds come to rest and go. And finally, I bring this quote from China, it reads: The miracle for humans is not to fly in the air, or to walk on
the water, but to walk on the earth. However, happiness cannot be determined by walking on the earth. Let me ask this question: Which country do you think is the first on happiness? That means lack of stress and anxiety. A researcher has put together a map of happiness in the world. The map shows that Denmark is the No. 1 destination. Because of health levels, prosperity and education were the strongest determinants of happiness. Money might not guarantee happiness, but it does make a significant contribution when it is spend on healthcare and education. It probably comes as no surprise that Zimbabwe and Burundi come bottom: oddly enough, the USA is placed at 23 and UK at 41 out of 178 countries.
This book includes fourteen chapters, Chapter one, covers the proposed new science of Socio-Therapy Chapter two, show the new role for socio-therapists. Chapter three about psycho-therapy. Chapters 4 to 10 deal with the PTSD, stress, anxiety, depression, fear and anger. Their symptoms and management. Chapter 11. discusses personality definitions and personality types. Chapter 12 provides some abstract related to previous topics and women depression. Chapter 13 brings some therapy cases from the field. Chapter 14 Interesting references from the Internet selected for related books and sites. References conclude the book. Hoping that the material included in this book may satisfy those who need to know more about PTSD epidemics and informational resources.